Alright this is the playoff push, so even as teams slowly get further away from the true race, they aren’t done yet. So we will get their thoughts on last week’s game if they have a Crabtree vs Talib fighting chance.

NFC East

Cowboys:

Ummmm…jeez how am I gonna explain away how Dak suddenly looks like one of the worst QBs in the league without Zeke and a healthy O line…Oh wait that’s right! We don’t have Sean Lee! And once he gets back everything will be ok you’ll see. Everyone will see.

Eagles:

We are the best team in the league and you know what…I don’t think it’s really even close. I guess the world will find out on Sunday night when we play the glitch that is Russell Wilson but I think we’ll beat them. It’s to the point we’re we are setting records that ESPN loves to make up!! Best team in NFL history with a QB named Wentz? Yup that’s us! Slide on em baby!

Redskins:  It was nice to watch my team win a slop fest right after I had my slop fest on Thanksgiving. The positive of the day was that the Cowboys and Giants lost so that was good. The downside, if we scratch out an 8-8 season, injuries will be the excuse and nothing will change so…

NFC North

Lions:

Yeah as soon as Case Keenum started looking like Joe Montana I knew the game was over. Stafford had the ultimate Stafford game. He was awful, and then he was great, and then he got hurt, and in the end he wasn’t good enough to be better than his team’s mistakes. For that, is the Lions way.

Packers: Hundley played the best game of his career and actually looked like something. I don’t know what that thing is because I hope Rodgers is here so long we never see him in a Packers’ uniform again after this year, but he did look like something. On the flip side it didn’t really matter at the end of the day.

Vikings:

Well now we have the best problem a team can have I guess. We might have two QBs instead of one. What I do know is Case better not move from that spot cause he’s balling right now. It was cute how the Lions thought they were going to do anything that wasn’t completely in character. But they did, of course they did.

NFC South

Falcons:

JULIO!!! Every time people wanna forget who he is for a minute this man just comes back and has one of these games. AKA the best game any wide out has had this season. He’s just too good to be contained. Yes this game got a little tricky down the stretch but it was under control for the most part. We’re back baby!

Panthers Well it wasn’t the prettiest win against a mediocre team but at the end of the day, a win’s a win. I mean yeah Cam still looks like trash but the rest of the team really picked things up for us. Lukkkkkeeee is back leading the defense and the motto this year is about getting stuff done.

Saints:  Well that did not look good at all. The only plus is the defense won’t get abused that bad if the corners are still there, so that’s a positive. Clearly we need Marshon because they were ripping us apart without Woods. Oh and the other real scary thing is the fact that Brees looked reallllllyyyy old on Sunday.

NFC West

Rams: That right there is the kind of game that I needed to see from our young team. After losing a tough game to the Vikings, we bounced back against another top team and came back with a vengeance. The only thing that worries me is our corners’ stone hands and maybe not running Gurley quite enough. Other than that this team is for real. No one can deny it there.

Seahawks:

Well I guess the best positive from Sunday is I’m still not completely sure if the Rams are for real or not. They beat the Saints at home…congrats. Want a cookie? Meanwhile we just cruised against the worst team in the league. If the 49ers just keep being awful everything else will be just fine in the end.

AFC East:

Bills:

Crazy what happens when you actually start the QB who had a winning record and doesn’t just toss up picks interceptions every three plays. You end up winning the game and being right back in the playoff race. Now we gotta hope that the Chargers win the division and Tyrod doesn’t sabotage the season to get McDermott fired…(hmmm)…actually that second thing wouldn’t be a terrible outcome.

Patriots:

Huh? Oh you wanted something different than the Patriots cruising to another divisional win and look like the class of the AFC, if not the NFL. Well welcome to 1999!!! Nah this is the present and the future we’re the best. Even though the NFC has the shiny new toy, Brady and the boys aren’t worried.

AFC North:

Ravens:  Make it stoppppp. Harbaugh stop being such a good coach, ugh. There is no reason Flacco should still have a starting job, but we keep finding ways to win even though we don’t have a competent passer. Now we somehow are in the playoff race even though our starter barely played better than Tom Savage. Purgatory is a curse, not a gift.

Steelers:

BAD STEELERS ALERT! I should have known that a butt kicking of the Titans before a game against a backup QB should have looked extremely appealing. But somehow the Steelers made the game way harder than it had to be with a thousand busted coverages that led to easy touchdowns. The weirdest 9-2 team I’ve ever seen.

AFC South:

Jaguars:  I mean come on man. It’s like the road to prosperity is right there and we just don’t want to be great. WE DON’T WANT A BIGGER POOL THAN THE TITANS. How do we keep letting a team that’s signature moment of the year is a man sleeping on a football keep creeping back into this division. This team is so inconsistent it hurts, but at least we’re somehow gonna reach the playoffs.

Titans:  ZZZZZZZZ…that’s what I’ve been most of this year, sleeping on the Titans’ playoff chances. But somehow we are right back in it even though no one on the team is really playing well. What am I saying? We are in this because our division stinks but hey, reaching the playoffs is reaching the playoffs and we’re sooooo close I can taste it.

AFC West

Chiefs:

I just have no idea what is happening. Why does this team fall apart at certain points every season? I don’t get it. What I do know is this is the reason we drafted Mahomes. Smith is who he is at the end of the day and maybe that will never change. The worst thing is: it isn’t the defense, but it’s the offense which has let us down.

Chargers: We are suddenly the hottest team in the league y’all!!!! On Thursday we went out and put on a true show. Bosa and Ingram just go out and hunt people on defense, which is the first time this has happened in a while. But the real story is how Rives has somehow flipped the curse for the time being.

Raiders:  First off Talib should be done for the season because he keeps going at Crabtree’s chain. I’m so happy he went out and made a statement that we wouldn’t take his nonsense anymore. Hopefully the team starts to make a stand because right now we are only one game back thanks to the Chiefs beginning to collapse.

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