AFC

Titans:

Wow so we just got killed by the Patriots just like we thought. Thank you Kevin Byard for helping Brady go insane mode and not even giving us a chance. But in complete honesty, this was to be expected. Our offense sucks and Mariota hasn’t gotten any better since we got him in the first place. I mean I would get rid of Mike Mularkey, but the owner already said that we were keeping him so…wait we aren’t bringing him back? I mean we did just win a playoff game, at least I would have given him the courtesy year of going 7-9 and firing him next year. That’s cold blooded Amy.

Patriots:

In the first quarter, the world was all in my subtweets talking about how the Patriots might actually lose. Hahahahaha yeah right, Tommy got it together and started to rip them apart. Of course everyone wants to blame the refs as if they had a chance of beating us with Mariota. Laughable. Now we get Blake Bortles and two 1st time postseason starters QBs away from that WARRIOR Brady winning number 6. Get the rings fitted fam.

Steelers:

Oh. My. Gosh. We just lost a playoff game to the Jags. The Pittsburgh Steelers…the leader of respect in the NFL and the team with the most rings (even though that’s fleeting fast), lost to the freaking Jags. Worse than that, we lost to Blake Bortles. And maybe worst of all Big Ben played the best game I’ve ever seen him play. This would have been the team that could have beaten the Patriots, but all year they kept looking ahead instead of playing the next game. Maybe Tomlin will learn, but I doubt it.

Jags:

“It’s just us and the Patriots,” they said.  “I want to see the Jags again,” they claimed.  Well you saw us, and we went straight to your house, and smacksonvilled you. Ahhh that was so sweet because people have been doubting us the all season and the defense keeps showing up. But this time the offense was vibing and put up 45. It’s ok world, we know you’re all going to take the Jags but we have the secret sauce of slaying the beast. Enter Tom Coughlin.

NFC

Falcons:

Stevvvvvvvveeeeeee. Come on Steveeeeeeee. I don’t know what Quinn expected when he hired this clown from college, but we need a new guy. Finding a Kyle Shanahan is going to be nearly impossible but we have got to get someone who has way more creativity. Only scoring 10 when given two turnovers is ridiculous with our talent. And through it all, we had a shot in the end of the game…and on 4th and 2 from the goal-line, we called a rollout. I just don’t get what’s wrong with this state.

Eagles:

Doug Pederson is going to be the guy who wins us a Super Bowl. I’m not sure if it’s going to be this year, but he has to be a coach of the year candidate. I gave most of the credit to Wentz being great, but this game we went in slightly over-matched and he kicked their butts, from a coaching standpoint, even though he lost the turnover battle. In the end, he and Swartz might not stay together past this season, but with this talent, they can do it when Wentz is back. And in the end, we might be able to win it this year too.

Saints:

Alright Drew Brees just carved up the best defense in the league and now we are a backup QB away from finally getting back to the SB…and we know we can beat great QBs because we did it last time. Kamara and Ingram were the story of the year, but in the end they were just supposed to get us here which they did…

Vikings:

Well the defense started to get ripped to shreds after Michael Thomas decided to cheap shot our safety and send him out of the game. How is that not getting talked about more? You know what it doesn’t matter. Now we know that Case isn’t the guy going forward. Was a good run though…

Saints: ….WAIT OH MY GOSH TACKLE HIM, WHAT JUST HAPPENED? HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU LET THAT HAPPEN AT THE END OF THE GAME??? UGH CLASSIC SAINTS UNREAL.

Vikings:

…OH WOW GO!!! GO!!!!!!! GET OUT OF BOUNDS!!!!! WAIT THERE’S NO ONE THERE OH…MY….I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!  THIS IS THE GREATEST VIKINGS GAME EVER!!!!!

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