Four weeks into the season now and any die hard football knows by now that teams cut their season’s up into parts of four. It’s a nice mental mind trick teams play. That means over the first four weeks NFL fans like to pretend they can predict their squad’s record even though they don’t know anything. That is why this week we asked some fans what they think the record will be at the end of the season. Before that though how about the five things your friends are saying they could have predicted which they are clearly lying about.

“I knew Kareem Hunt would be the sleeper in the draft this year.”

“I told you the Patriots defense, and not Tom Brady’s age, would put the Patriots in danger.”

“I said the Raiders would be the third best team in the AFC West.”

“I called Jared Goff being great in this league. He just needed help.”

“I said the Giants would start off 0-6 and not 0-4 actually.”

Over reactionary Fan record prediction.

NFC East

Cowboys:  Wow so we really can’t stop a nosebleed huh? First off, I know everyone is going to take this chance to somehow blame Dak or Zeke but that defense is just terrible. Peep this: we’ve scored 19, 28, 17, and 30 this year so I don’t wanna hear about how Dak just throws check downs. He’s the best quarterback in the division everyone else just has better defenses so he has to score more. It is what it is though another fluke game but we’re still gonna get this right.

ORFRP: 12-4

Eagles:

Holy crap this is a changing of the times in Philly!!! Carson and Doug are both figuring it out at the same time. Doug finally is letting Wentz relax by calling more running plays and now you can see the result. Wentz is the best QB in the division easy AND our defense is still banged up. That was a classic trap game and we didn’t take the bait. Another tough win for the birds and with the Cowboys losing it’s time to take the division back!!!

ORFRP: 11-5

Giants:

Wow we suck. I‘m done with Eli, I’m done with McAdoo, shoot I’m actually done with the defense. These dudes missed three field goals and an extra point AND WE STILL LOST THE FREAKING GAME. Eli had 288 yards with 2 TDs and even looked competent and we STILL LOSE. I mean we couldn’t even get Winston to throw interceptions and you can’t spell his last name with INT. We are bad and getting worse fast.

ORFRP: 2-14

Redskins:  Come on Doctson!!!! Ugh you gotta catch that. Either way the team that everyone wanted to crown we had dead to rights on the road. Captain Kirk seems to be making a leap of sorts right now. He looked like the better quarterback on the field and the O line is getting a little hoggish. The Eagles and Cowboys just don’t scare me right now I think we take off and can take this division.

ORFRP: 11-5

NFC North

Bears:

Well after wasting one forth of the season we finally decide to do the obvious thing and start the 2nd overall pick over Mike Glennon. Gee John Fox must be a rocket scientist. This is a team that beat the Steelers and was one possession away from beating the Falcons.  Now Mitch can definitely step up to the plate (see what I did there) and go all Tebow on the league.  The question is whether or not we should even want slightly more overweight Steve Martin to still be the coach.

ORFRP: 7-9

Lions:

The time is now!! We should be 4-0 save for the refs coming over and ripping our hearts out in Mortal Kombat fashion. That’s ok though because we came back this week to beat the Vikings. It was ugly but the Lions problem has never been winning ugly it’s this game and the Giants game that give me hope for this year. We ran the ball 27 times while Stafford realized that the guy across from him was Case Keenum. That meant not to throw interceptions and he didn’t. The division is going to be all Lions baby!!

ORFRP: 11-5

PackersRodgers just did Rodgers things which is ripping the Bears a new caboose. As the Packers do Packers things and just stay above water. The bigger thing is that the Falcons lost and the Cowboys lost as the Seahawks keep riding the struggle bus in a lot of areas. If we can somehow get home field in this conference then Rodgers can actually take us to a Super Bowl by himself. I’m convinced. He just needs to learn the fundamentals of cornerback and how to make the occasional sack when we need him to rush the passer.

ORFRP: 13-3

Vikings:  Sadly the first big injury of the season just had to happen to my Vikings. Dalvin Cook looked like a stud and was actually doing things that Adrian Peterson didn’t do until the big hit. Now we confirmed that he has a torn ACL. Life with the Vikings of course. UGH. Our QB gets replaced by a guy who could pass as your mail man while Cook is done for the year. I quit.

ORFRP: 8-8

NFC South

Buccaneers:

Man that boy Winston is CLUTCH. But we all knew that already it was just time that he shad that big moment in the pros. So of course facing one of the better defenses in the league, with a kicker who was so bad that we had to get inside the 20, Winston drove. We’re still right in this thing the problem is so is everyone else.  This was the game Winston needed from every area. Dotted em up for 300!!! It’s time for those Bucsssss.

ORFRP: 11-5

Falcons:  Well Ryan gave it all he had but in the end of the day with no Julio or Sanu there was only so much that we could do. We were bound to lose one of these tough games eventually but we still look like a better team than last year. The defense has been stepping up and the offense looks pretty much the same. Just gotta get home field and it’s a wrap just like last year. And that Patriots defense is looking a little suspect…

ORFRP: 12-4

Panthers:

Oooo Cam’s back now. He just had to hit ground bottom against that team in New Orleans but now it’s time. Everyone’s been sleeping on us in this division but open your eyes now folks cause Superman is back to full effect. For the first time the defense struggled a little but that was to be expected against Brady. Either way the Bills might be for real and we know the Pats are so going 3-1 with that tough schedule early was big.

ORFRP: 12-4

Saints : Yeah!!! Everyone thought the freaking Dolphins were gonna run all over us. NOPE. People thought we didn’t have a defense anymore. ALSO NOPE. And Brees is still chilling too with no turnovers. Oh that’s right no one on the offense does right now. All we gotta do is wait in the weeds and we can sneak into the backdoor of the playoffs. And if that happens look out.

ORFRP: 10-6

NFC West

49ers:  Man Kyle needs to start sticking with the script a little bit better than this. We are competing way too much with these division foes right now. Luckily on the field Hoyer was the right option because he finds ways to lose games in the last second, AND he doesn’t kneel. And at this rate hopefully he won’t have to at the beginning or end of any games this year.

ORFRP: 0-16

Cardinals:

I was actually to the point where I was hoping we would lose out. As I’m watching us and the flipping 49ers play a game of black jack on the scoreboard it hit me for the 4th time this year. This area is over and there is no going back. Luckily in this soon to be lost year Larry Fitz still comes out and makes amazing plays. Other than that. Yuck.

ORFRP: 5-11

Rams:

Well when you replace a coach who looks like Uncle Rico things could only go up. When you do it was a 31 year old mastermind it gets insane and that’s what happened for the Rams. Goff has looked like one of the better QBs in the league and the Rams have the number one offense putting up points on everybody. We’ve always had the talent to win this division but now we have the coaching.

ORFRP: 12-4

Seahawks: I’ve never been more upset about a blowout win in my life. Yes we beat the Colts but for the majority of the game we looked lifeless. Of course in the end our talent started to take over but it’s the Colts without Andrew Luck. The modern day version of the Office without Steve Carell. You kind of wonder why they’re even around. I still think we win this division on the fear factor that other teams will choke but we are fading and fading fast.

AFC East

Bills:

This is the kind of win that could change out season. Sean McDermott really has changed the culture we have. Tyrod Taylor realizes his role and now doesn’t make those big mistakes. On the other side we can ride LeSean McCoy to wins and that will be the key. Finally this defense is back to flying around like they should have been in the Rex Ryan era. Oh and don’t look now but… WE LEAD THE DIVISION!!

ORFRP: 11-5

Dolphins:

Well Jay Cutler can’t score touchdowns, or even points for that matter, so that’s great. Now we wasted a team that made the playoffs last year. So this will end up as season where the offense just can’t get it done but the defense might give us a few more wins than we deserve.

ORFRP: 5-11

Jets:  Well what the heck I don’t know what to make of this team now. Apparently we can win games so that is quite a switch up. We’re getting things like early 75 yard runs and almost had two 100 yard runners. Suddenly this is a team that can win overtime games.  Now I don’t know whether to root for them to win or hope for us to lose out. In classic fashion we’ll do the worst of all of those options.

ORFRP: 6-10

Patriots:  Wow our defense is bad. Like realllllyyy bad. But on the flip side Tom Brady is still realllllllyyyyy good. So I’m just going to trust that Bill does Bill things in the end and can fix this defense. All they have to do is stop people to under 27 and Brady won’t lose. Not worried about the Bills though they are found money. When you come at the king you better not blow a 28-3 lead.

ORFRP: 13-3

AFC North

Browns:

Well this was expected. I mean when you can’t even beat the Colts and then the Bengals stomp on your throat this is the exact season that we expected. Oh well, we are building something here it’s just gonna be a long climb.

ORFRP: 2-14

Bengals:  Wow we were able to beat the Browns. Impressive…Yeah fire Marvin Lewis and cut Andy Dalton please.

ORFRP: 4-12

Ravens:

Well we couldn’t stay under the radar any more. Joe Flacco has led us to the worst passing offense in the league. The rushing offense is good but we just can’t make big plays. And the defense is good but it isn’t good enough to fix those mistakes. That loss to the Jags just really hurt because it was a game we should have won and then this game wouldn’t have meant quite as much. Oh well we are what we are.

ORFRP: 8-8

Steelers:  Even when we win it doesn’t look pretty. The offense still looks like they have some issues but at least Le’Veon is back to the smooth dancing behind the backfield. The biggest plus for this team so far has been the defense game in and game out. Still even they got ran all over when we played the Bears. I just don’t trust this team as much as I’d like even though we’re 3-1.

ORFRP: 11-5

AFC South

Colts:  In a strange twist of fate we are still somehow in the race for the AFC South. On the other end of that does Andrew Luck even want to play for this team? I mean it’s obvious that he is the only thing that could save this team but does he want to save the team. I don’t know and right now it just seems very doubtful. Until then we are officially lost in the sauce but 7 wins could possibly win this division.

ORFRP:  7-9

Jags:

This team can’t deal with the highs and lows of the NFL. In what universe can you beat the Ravens by 38 then turn around and lose to a team that’s tanking? In the Jags universe of course. These highs and lows are going to come all season and now I’ve mentally prepared that this team will ultimately disappoint me in the end. The junior year of High School version of the NFL.

ORFRP: 8-8

Texans:

Oh my gosh DeShaun Watson. He is now in the lead for rookie of the year and yes that even includes Kareem Hunt. I knew he was really good after the Patriots game but I didn’t think he was capable of this. 57! 57!!!! Like that is one of those things that isn’t supposed to happen in the NFL. Let alone as a rookie. With him the sky really is the limit.

ORFRP: 11-5

Titans:  I just don’t know what to make of this team.  We win a big game against the Seahawks.  One of those games that looked like it was going to change the culture of the team.  Then you go out and let a rookie quarterback from a division rival dot you up for 57.  Oh and now Mariota is hurt, AGAIN.  Ugh if this team just can’t make the next step it might be time to make changes.

ORFRP: 9-7

AFC West

Broncos:

Alright the Broncos have now started at 3-1 and Trevor Siemian has been good enough to make us believe. No he isn’t an MVP candidate yet, but if he plays like he did against the Raiders this team can go a long way. It was the perfect example of a quarterback reading the game and realizing the defense wasn’t going to give up anything. That means that Siemian needs a nickname (other than the obvious one). With this defense we aren’t scared of the Chiefs. My boy T Siem is gonna get this done.

ORFRP: 12-4

Chiefs:

Oooooo yeah. You know your quarterback is taking the next step when announcers start comparing them to internal organs. “The heart on Alex Smith to overcome the Chiefs drafting a rookie is incredible.” “That drive against the Redskins really took guts at the end of the game.” “Smith would put his kidney in an ice box to win this one.” Oh and we’re 4-0 with top five players at each position in Hunt, Hill and Kelce. Time might be nearing to kiss the ring.

ORFRP: 15-1

Chargers:

Sooooo I guess the Chargers organization is just going to ignore this curse thing huh. I mean we’re 0-4, another season over, in the toughest division in football. But the worst thing is we keep losing by two or three points. And we think about it over and over again (Shoutout to Nelly!)

ORFRP: 3-13

Raiders:  I’m getting the feeling that the Redskins took our soul away. We just didn’t look the same against the Broncos but that happens to teams on the road against the Broncos. The bigger issue is that Derek Carr is hurt for 2-6 weeks and Beastmode (I’m sorry church of the Mode) but he just isn’t quite Beastmode right now. This just looks like a season where we take a step back unfortunately.

ORFRP: 8-8

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